Sharing Secrets with our Daughters
Vulnerability and keeping it real protects us from years of hiding in shame. Here are just a few verses to meditate on.
For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:17
You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. Psalm 90:8
Would not God discover this? For he knows the secrets of the heart. Psalm 44:21
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
Last night at our mother daughter event we stressed the importance and knowledge that purity is a process. We never “arrive” this side of heaven. Paul tells us that it’s a daily working out of our salvation until Jesus returns—He will make all things perfect! Until then, we struggle in the process of becoming more like Him. That struggle is something we can help each other with through Bible Study, prayer, and loving accountability.
I woke up praying for all the soul work that transpired last night in my family and yours. And, I felt led by the Spirit to write this letter to you.
Your daughter is not your counselor, but you can have honest talks with her about your purity process. In my group, many of us shared how much easier it is to be vulnerable with someone you trust and with someone who is willing to share their imperfections.
Again, our daughters are not our counselors. If we, as moms, are struggling with marriage issues, deep adult concerns, and life struggles that would overwhelm a tender heart it’s important to engage with a trusted adult who can support you or consider Christian counseling. I can’t speak enough about the benefits of Christian Counseling. I’ve been to deal with a history of things that should have never happened in my childhood—painful things that needed to be exposed in the light, so I could be free from the enemies control in my mind. He kept things hidden inside of me for years. He would share that if I told, everyone would judge you and deem you unworthy. I’m set free in the name of Jesus from that secret and lie. AMEN!
Our daughters at the right age of development can hear from us the truth about our struggles, but they do not need to hear intimate details. So what does that mean? If you are unsure, ask your Christian counselor or trusted friend.
One example is when I shared my testimony with the girls in WOW. I told them that I had been exposed to abuse but I did not give details. I spent more time sharing the consequences of my sins in response to abuse—shame, insecurities, regret….and how God redeemed me.
I think Sarah last night did an excellent job with balance. Reflect on her testimony.
I grew up as a child being a counselor and it was not good. It shaped my thoughts towards those I loved at a tender age and produced a lot of undue anxiety that I sometimes struggle with today. So, be careful not to use your daughter as a counselor. You’re her mom building a solid relationship that goes beyond “let’s be friends”. Your daughter needs a mom who puts Jesus first and loves her through the direction of His love and the Spirit’s leading.
Vulnerability and keeping it real protects us from years of hiding in shame. Here are just a few verses to meditate on.
For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:17
You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. Psalm 90:8
Would not God discover this? For he knows the secrets of the heart. Psalm 44:21
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
Last night at our mother daughter event we stressed the importance and knowledge that purity is a process. We never “arrive” this side of heaven. Paul tells us that it’s a daily working out of our salvation until Jesus returns—He will make all things perfect! Until then, we struggle in the process of becoming more like Him. That struggle is something we can help each other with through Bible Study, prayer, and loving accountability.
I woke up praying for all the soul work that transpired last night in my family and yours. And, I felt led by the Spirit to write this letter to you.
Your daughter is not your counselor, but you can have honest talks with her about your purity process. In my group, many of us shared how much easier it is to be vulnerable with someone you trust and with someone who is willing to share their imperfections.
Again, our daughters are not our counselors. If we, as moms, are struggling with marriage issues, deep adult concerns, and life struggles that would overwhelm a tender heart it’s important to engage with a trusted adult who can support you or consider Christian counseling. I can’t speak enough about the benefits of Christian Counseling. I’ve been to deal with a history of things that should have never happened in my childhood—painful things that needed to be exposed in the light, so I could be free from the enemies control in my mind. He kept things hidden inside of me for years. He would share that if I told, everyone would judge you and deem you unworthy. I’m set free in the name of Jesus from that secret and lie. AMEN!
Our daughters at the right age of development can hear from us the truth about our struggles, but they do not need to hear intimate details. So what does that mean? If you are unsure, ask your Christian counselor or trusted friend.
One example is when I shared my testimony with the girls in WOW. I told them that I had been exposed to abuse but I did not give details. I spent more time sharing the consequences of my sins in response to abuse—shame, insecurities, regret….and how God redeemed me.
I think Sarah last night did an excellent job with balance. Reflect on her testimony.
I grew up as a child being a counselor and it was not good. It shaped my thoughts towards those I loved at a tender age and produced a lot of undue anxiety that I sometimes struggle with today. So, be careful not to use your daughter as a counselor. You’re her mom building a solid relationship that goes beyond “let’s be friends”. Your daughter needs a mom who puts Jesus first and loves her through the direction of His love and the Spirit’s leading.